


mako's midnight anxiety

by abcame



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, I dont know how to tag things, M/M, Mako needs therapy, Panic Attacks, Poor Mako (Avatar), Wuko, nightmare fic but make it anxiety, this definitely is not projecting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:34:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27546913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abcame/pseuds/abcame
Summary: In which Mako wakes up in the middle of the night in a particularly bad panic attack.
Relationships: Mako & Prince Wu (Avatar), Mako/Prince Wu (Avatar)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 107





	mako's midnight anxiety

**Author's Note:**

> hey um I've never posted anything here so yikes lol. also i tried to proofread but i didn't have anyone check it for me so forgive the inevitable bad grammar and tense shifts.
> 
> also this contains descriptions of a panic attack (if you couldnt already tell by the tags) so just beware of that!

Often enough, Mako wakes up in the middle of the night in a panic attack. It’s not really hard to imagine why—dude’s been through enough nightmare situations for three lifetimes. So, a few times each month, his brain and body get convinced he’s moments from losing his bending again, or watching his parents fall to the ground, or being chased by a woman 50 ft in the air on giant water arms or—well, you get it.

One night was particularly bad. The moment Mako opened his eyes he knew what was happening. _Shit, not this again_. His breathing was fast, chest tight, mind felt somehow sharp and alert but also clouded. He thought he could shut it down if he just breathed slow enough and deep enough; it was nearly 3am and Wu had to be up early tomorrow. After a minute of slow and deliberate inhales and exhales, Mako felt himself getting hotter, almost the way a light fever feels. _Shit!_ The feeling of Wu’s head against his side and their intertwined fingers made Mako’s skin itch. The feeling intensified just as quickly as it had come on and suddenly Mako was wincing way from Wu, withdrawing his fingers and pulling his body away until Wu’s head flopped to the bed, causing the prince to let out a confused groan. Normally, Mako would be thinking _fuck_ right about now, but his temperature was still rising, his breathing getting faster, and the clouded feeling was beginning to take over his brain. As he sat up, the thoughts in his head had gotten so loud he almost didn’t hear Wu calling his name and nudging his shoulder.

“Mako? Hey, Mako?? Are you alright?” Wu asked softly, voice heavy with concern. He was pretty sure it was another panic attack, but this one seemed worse than usual. Mako didn’t answer him; instead he dropped his head to his hands and pressed the heels into his eyes in an effort to ground himself. Every thought felt obsessive, crazy, mixed up and jumbled, and it was hard to tell if any of what he was hearing in his head was real or not.

Seeing Mako’s skin glistening with sweat, Wu pulled the covers off him. It was hard to know what would help him when he was having an episode like this because the answer was not always the same, but Wu had learned a thing or two.

“Drink some water, it’ll help you cool down,” Wu said, reaching for the glass of ice water he kept on their bedside table (specifically for moments like this). When he went to hand Mako the glass, he did not respond; his hands were still pressed too tightly to his eyes. Placing his hand on one of Mako’s wrists firmly, but gently, because he’d figured out that touch was usually unwelcome in moments like this, Wu said, “Mako. You’re going to hurt yourself. Just take a sip of water, okay?”

Wu’s hand on Mako’s wrist was an interruption enough to his thoughts that he was able to drop his hands and take a sip of water. The water did feel good, Wu was right. _Wu._ He knew Mako so well. After setting the glass down, he turned to thank him, but when he met his eyes, they were so heavy with concern and sad looking that, suddenly, Mako was spiraling again. Look at what Mako was doing to him, he’d made the person he loved feel that scared, how could he do that, why did this keep happening to him? Why couldn’t he just be normal? Was he so fundamentally broken that he couldn’t even love people right? He was doomed to hurt the ones he loved and he did not even have a say in it. Mako was so deep in his own thought spiral that he did not notice when he started crying.

Wu’d seen Mako cry once or twice before, but this is something different. Mako’s face was twisted in pain and as much as he tried, he couldn’t hold down the choked gasp as the first sob erupted. In an instant, Wu had Mako pulled close, his arms around the firebenders back, one hand resting on the head that was pressed into the crook of his own neck.

In between muffled sobs Mako was apologizing, over and over. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Wu, I’m sorry I can’t make it stop, I don’t know how to make it stop…”

“Easy, big guy, I’ve got you. You’re safe. Shh, Mako, it’s okay,” Wu repeated in response, even though he knew Mako couldn’t hear him; he was somewhere far away, deep in his own head. Wu just needed to say something to drown out Mako’s words; hearing him him like that, the fear in his voice—it was almost too much to handle.

After a few minutes, the sobs subsided. Mako came back down into his body, feeling his temperature cool and his mind clear from the fog. As he became grounded again, he felt Wu’s hand gently brushing through his hair, his head leaning against Mako’s. Wu kissed his temple and Mako breathed a deep sigh of relief.

“Hey,” Wu said softly, pulling back enough for Mako to pick his head up so they could look at one another. “That was a pretty bad one. You okay?” he asked, placing his hand on Mako’s cheek and caressing with his thumb.

“I don’t know,” he closed his eyes, covering Wu’s hand with his own, nuzzling into the palm and swallowing hard before continuing. “I was okay until…Wu, you looked…seeing you hurting because of me? I can’t forg—“

“Mako, stop.” Came Wu’s interruption, soft, but firm. He knew what Mako was going to say and he didn’t want to hear it. “I love you, so of course it hurts to see you in so much pain. But that isn’t your fault. And I wouldn’t want it any differently. Well, of course I’d rather this not keep happening to you, but as long as it does, I’m going to be there for you. Because I love you.”

Mako dropped his gaze before Wu finished. Something had knotted in his chest that he couldn’t identify. He loves Wu so much and Wu loves him too, which he still found hard to believe. Why would someone want to bother with all this? He doesn’t think he’s worth it, but he knew Wu does. And he’s so thankful for that.

Nudging his chin up to force Mako to meet his eyes, Wu asked, “You know?” voice barely above a whisper.

“I know,” Mako muttered, before kissing him soft and slow. When they broke, he continued, “Thank you. I love you,” before pushing back in, this time harder, more insistently. He wanted Wu to know how much he meant it.

“I love you too.”

As the two rearranged themselves for sleep, Mako didn't have to ask for Wu to continue holding him, he did it anyways.


End file.
